In Paperback

• The Actual Adventures of Michael Missing - [buy] [feedback]
  Eleven stories told from the depths of anger, lust, and the confusion of doing the right things at the wrong times. (See "Affair" below for a selected story from this book.)

  Michael Missing, the name of eleven different young men in various states of unrest, is the linked but unrelated protagonist of these wry and angry tales—a hit man, the cabin boy of 19th century French pirate Jean Lafitte, erstwhile baseball hero and the man who would be President of France, a frustrated salesman who loses an evening with Captain Kirk in the unrequited hope of laying the town slut of Scarsdale.

  Readers will shudder as, to their dismay, they recognize themselves, or at least part of themselves, in the naïve and angry young man who sincerely wishes things were different, and who regrets he has never overheard someone say, “Michael is a real good guy.” A criminally funny and perceptive literary debut.

Online

• Affair - [free!] [feedback]
  When you ditch a chance to make a sale, and even your Star Trek reruns, she'd better be in the mood to put out. Even if you're not sure you remember her name right.




• Ernie the Counselor - [buy] [feedback]
  Ernie tells it like it is. Or not. Take his advice. Or not. You're better off meeting Ernie here than at his office, which is the formica counter of the Eat Here Diner. It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from there.




• Lion Heartbreak - [buy] [feedback]
  Nothing hurts a lion more than when he loses his pride. Life nails you to the ground. New story, same as the last. You try to tell the kids, but they just don't feel the need to listen. Fuckers figure they'll live forever. Having trouble sorting your life out? Try being a lion, for chrissakes.




• My Name is Penguin - [free!] [feedback]
  You won't be fooled by the surprise ending. But maybe the surprise middle will throw you for a loop.